not nearly as approachable as i intend to be

sergle:

like if a drink is gonna taste bad, then I want it to at least Fuck Me Up, and if a drink isn’t gonna fuck me up, then i want it to taste real nice. but you can’t have a drink that both fails to fuck you up, AND fails to taste good. that’s cheating. and that’s beer.

yungsquidward:

transhumanisticpanspermia:

franklyfranchia:

targent:

what is it about being on a plane that makes people go buckwild for ginger ale literally everyone be ordering it

ginger ale is supposed 2 help settle ur stomach if ur nauseous so ppl get it on planes if they get planesick

ginger grow in the ground so it keeps you connected to god’s earth while you’re thousands of feet up in the Heathen Tube

it slaps move on next question

arrogantsuggestion:

I am no mans dream girl. No man could ever imagine and create a woman as complex and beautiful as me.

sheglows:

corporationkills:

god made a mistake when he made me a person instead of a friendly little cat on a midwestern apple orchard

gretchensinister:

Y’know what…

Yeah. I want my tax dollars to pay for the healthcare of the person who started smoking and kept smoking because they think it looks cool and doesn’t give a shit about all the warnings. I want my tax dollars to pay for the healthcare of the person who destroyed their liver because they just love drinking and didn’t stop even if they weren’t addicted. I want my tax dollars to pay for the healthcare of the person who never drinks water, only regular cola. I want my tax dollars to pay for the healthcare of the person who missed the trampoline when they jumped off the roof to impress their friends. I want my tax dollars to pay for the healthcare of every single person who had to have a surgeon remove something without a flared base from their assholes. I want my tax dollars to pay for all the kinds healthcare needed by all the kinds of people who decided to have sex without any kind of barrier. I want my tax dollars to help fix the teeth of meth users. I want my tax dollars to help everyone who’s been noncompliant with the doctor’s recommendations, everyone who’s been a hypochondriac in the ER, everyone who let things get bad before getting help.

Everyone is deserving. 

writhe:

lookin for my twin flame. hmu if we’ve meet 1000s of years ago & have hung out every subsequent lifetime since. missing you

spelldealer:

your 20’s are all about finding THE wackiest, THE ugliest, short-sleeve button-up shirts that no one in their right mind would wear, and then wearing them as much as possible

ohbutwebestmakepeacewithit:

david shrigley

karis-the-fangirl:

tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors:

that oldest sister feel when you just accept that any task not deliberately directed at someone in particular is going to be your responsibility